THOM GUNN

The Road Map

If I saw you liked that dull unhappy boy
and let you be, and did not react
to see you driving off together
to the country on Sundays
........................................ it was
to make your position indefensible
and, that established,
must not my own lack of blame
survive, copious?
(How can you answer back? You were in the wrong.)

I teased a schoolmaster when I was twelve
until his accumulated rage
was out of proportion to the offence.
My emotions drew up a road map.

Now my mind catches up and looks back.

And wreckages of trust litter the route
each an offence against me.
I gaze back
.................in hardened innocence.