I sit at the Cup Cake Cafe.
Back at the Cup Cake Cafe.
Back in New York.
I've been on a nine day pilgrimage to Southwest Florida to find out how I am.
Turns out...
I am tired.
I sat in the pool, and stared in the near distance, creasing my brow, solemn and still, like a melancholy wax figure at Madam Tussaud's.
But, my return to New York feels good. The island feels leafy and young.
And since the weather is nice, I continue my Florida vacation in midtown.
As I sit at the Cup Cake with my paper-cup of coffee, I scan my body.
My left ear is clogged. My hearing goes (in and out ) like a shot speaker.
This is from swimming.
I feel flu-ish. Do I dare admit that conciously.
My legs are numb and hot. And they were dramatically weeker cycling to the Cup Cake.
Uh oh.
At the Cup Cake I read a book called Mental Science by Thomas Troward.
It's an old book. Written a century ago. It's full of proclamations about metaphysics that egg me on.
He actually writes that only intelligent beings get this stuff.
I'm intelligent! I'm game! Let's us do some healing Mr. Troward!
The book dissects the vulnerable fragile flame that is one's essence.
And he describes how mind, spirit, soul effects our physical body.
He breaks down the will! (A lower impatient pushy will vs. a higher loving accepting, inclusive loving instinct.
Troward's road map is heady, leading me down the trippy road to an anxious examination of what "is" is.
After getting freaked out about death and infinite space I concede that I need people and mundane current events to anchor me in a reality or I'll float away into cerebral angst and toxic depression.
(Now I know why endless sunshine and isolation drives people batty in LA)
Troward, like others, declares that we are not our bodies.
There is infinite intelligence and we are all a part of it.
An endless consciousness.
That if we can, if we can tune in with our objective mind and then release to our creative subjective mind, we can follow our own natural higher instinct, an instinct of goodness and love. This path is surely the right one.
We can heal with an idea.
We can ignite an idea in our head. Like the beginning of the universe, a spinning nucleus in our own consciousness created and available through endless mind, through love, through G-d.
Our will, will decide if it will carry out this idea. Always receiving, always perpetual, like a spinning top. New ideas, new ways to experience our truth, our live, our journies.
Ideas inform our body.
It's not a pushy will.
It's easy.
BUT, it takes an awareness and intelligence. Openness.
... following your higher instinct, your truth, your love, your kindness, your gratefulness, your acceptance, your inclusion in this infinite intelligence.
Infinite mind, love, life, truth (is how Mary Baker Eddy describes it)
Truth, is where I get in trouble. (I surmise)
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