BIG TOP

Jackie comes over to help change Aroo's litter box.
I sit on the couch with a ballot, a ball point pen, and a list of the Screen Actors Guild award nominees.

My voice is garbled (tonight). Sometimes, in mid sentence, I sound like a phantom is strangling me.

"Jackie, okay listen, I'll read the nominees and you then say which one you think should win."

"Charlie, I haven't seen any movies this year. You pick."

"Jackie, I haven't seen any of the movies either. We'll just have to guess."

Jackie sits in a blue toile chair with Aroo. I'm on the couch.

I read...

"Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role,

"JEFF BRIDGES in CRAZY HEART" - but through my troubled larynx it sounds like I'm saying... "Jeff Bwidis in Cwazee Harr".

"GEORGE CLOONEY in UP IN THE AIR" becomes "Jor Klune-nee in Op in the Air"

"COLIN FIRTH in A SINGLE MAN" is "Colin Firtha in a Single Man"

"MORGAN FREEMAN in INVICTUS" is "Morgan Freeman in En-vih-tis".

and "JEREMY RENNER in "THE HURT LOCKER" sounds like "Jear-a-meee Renna in The Urt Lochh-er".

I plough through the names like a determined drunk. I'm not frightened of my degeneration. I'm curious.
It's like I'm saddled with a difficult accent for a cool new role.

(Listen to my weakening articulation! Isn't it heart-rending? Isn't my vocal disintegration compelling?)

Vocal articulation, speech, the melody of the voice, is marvelous entertainment.
It deserves the Big Top of physical attractions not the side show.

"Which one Jackie? Wadda ya think?"

Jackie suggests Beau Bridges.

"He's not on the list Jackie, it's Jeff Bridges!"

"Well then Jeff Bridges, I choose him, he's a very good actor. Very serious."

"Well, I'm going to pick Collin Firth (which I pronounce Collin Foouth). "It's his time and I read the book and this movie needs attention."

After we're done with the ballot, Jackie helps me change the sheets on my bed. (I haven't changed them in weeks).

I say to Jackie (as I order her around my bedroom "Get the blue bedspread from the top shelf, flip the feather mattress and then lets put the mattress pad OVER the feather bed, otherwise the feathers poke through the sheets... whoever thought I'd need help making my own bed. Who could have ever predicted that?"