Dr. Wang can see me right away.
I'm in his tired examining room sitting across from his desk.
He offers a quick hello and studies my files like an actor going over his lines before a big scene.
He asks me how I am doing, what I am doing, and if I've improved.
I tell him, I (now) eat organically, I swim daily (or every other day).
I take lots of vitamins and antioxidants.
I attempt to explain the website (Patients Like Me) to him.
"And do other people with your disease see acupuncturists?" he asks.
"Some do, but others have given it up because they see no positive results."
"How does this website make money?"
"I'm not sure."
Dr. Wang is concerned with money. Not in a capitalist Donald Trump way, but in a whole-body integrated, health, kind of way.
"No money... not enough money? Feel bad, bad for the body, bad for the nervous system."
And here Dr. Wang makes a sour expression to illustrate his point as if I was the one having a hard time understanding english.
Dr. Wang then proceeds with his treatment, a treatment that I have come to know and anticipate.
He talks and then he LISTENS (with great concern) as if I were his son.
He thinks hard. He takes on the burden of figuring out what is best for my disease.
And this is a relief. He seems to be saying, "relax Charlie, I'll figure a way out of this."
This is the opposite, the VERY opposite response I get from western doctors. Western doctors arrive pokerfaced. Nothing you say, can penetrate their cool, removed equilibrium.
You've got a few minutes. There are a thousand more important things at hand. Time is money.
Dr. Wang's stern lecture is a good one. It's just what I needed to hear (again).
"You must go to bed at the exact same time every night... because of this disease. You must eat regularly... because of this disease. You must not get upset or think too hard or get too sad ... because of this disease. Drink fresh water, exercise lightly. Go to parties, be happy, but you must go home early and sleep... because of this disease."
He tells me that I should not spend my time researching the disease or conversing with other who have the disease. I should leave that to (one or two) special doctors. Check in from time to time to see if there is anything new that will help, and if there isn't, go home and forget about it.
I won't embrace this view.
I tell Dr. Wang there really are no doctors for this disease. It's rare. There is no cure. There is nothing but alternative methods (so far). There is research, but no proven medicine. So I have no choice but to read, to research, to help myself.
Dr. Wang seems concerned .... "how many people have this disease?"
"I think (and I'm not sure, I can't bear to read statistics about this disease) "I think there are roughly five thousand new cases a year. It's pretty rare."
"Okay Charlie," Dr. Wang says, "I'm just telling you what I would do. I would relax, feel good, and leave the rest to the doctors."
"Well, I just may have to, because it's all so expensive!
I think diet is important. I want to be tested for food allergies but testing is so expensive."
(Last week I left PATIENTS MEDICAL in a controlled rage because they don't take medicare.
(I recently switched to Medicare from SAG. It looks like, I can't afford to see them anymore).
Dr. Wang tells me, "this disease has nothing to do with diet. This disease they can't explain. This disease there are no answers. The best thing to do with this disease is to take care of nervous system and immune system."
"Now Charlie, (getting back to my paperwork) have you improved since the last time I saw you?"
"No, I would have to say I've declined. It's a slow decline." (I put my hand in front of my face and make my hand slant downward to illustrate the idea of decline).
Dr. Wang nods.
He understands but then he seems to take this decline personally, like his protocol, which always works, has sprung a leak.
His anxious concern is a joy to me. It's a relief.
"Let me see you walk."
I show him my groping, loping, walk.
Dr. Wang gets right down to business and puts his hands all over my legs and butt, like a tailor in a mad hurry.
"Your legs are cold. Feel. Do you feel that?"
"Yes, I know its part of the issue. We all have cold legs."
"This is no good. Your legs are not getting nourishment. The blood is not getting down there and this is no good. You must use a heating pad and keep your legs warm at night. And when you lie in bed in the morning, you must do these exercises."
(He shows me some exercises that vaguely resemble bicycling in the air).
He insists that I eat the royal jelly. I tell him (the last time I tried it) I had a hard time swallowing it.
"Mix it in orange juice. Not soup, not coke, just juice."
He stares at me to make sure I'll follow his directions.
"Okay, I'll do it." (Everything will be okay. Dr. Wang is so resolute, I can let go).
Dr. Wang brings up Florida. "Didn't you say you had family in Florida?"
I tell him I could go to Florida but I think I'd wilt there. New York (in a way) keeps me brave.
Then Dr. Wang says with quiet intensity,
"You very strong person Charlie, and this is GOOD!"
I nod this away. I negate it.
"No! I think this is true. You very strong person." - (Like he's breaking with code and letting me in on a secret).
"I think you should write a book. I do! I think people will be interested. You bike, you cook, you swim, you work (and he gets this wrong, I don't work, can't work) you meet with different doctors. This is good. It's very good. You very strong person. I think so."
And I feel a well of pride gush from within like someone told me, I got the part.
Dr. Wang and I do the needles, and as always, I fall into a deep sleep.
Before I leave, he gives me a brush to spank my legs, to bring the blood flow to my feet and lower calves. I'm to use the brush in the shower.
"I'll see you next week, Charlie," he says like an order rather than a suggestion.
And I feel like I've really impressed Dr. Wang with my strong character and fortitude.
Not wanting to disillusion the doctor, I remain solemn and stone-faced as I leave his office.