GOD BLESS US EVERYONE (please)

Before I leave for the dentist, I read a thread on the "PATIENTS LIKE ME" website about "aspirating during the removal of fillings -lungs getting infected" and then "a rapid demise/progression".

I'm having four amalgams replaced at eleven thirty.

I cab to West 68th and Broadway, and Jackie (my 72 year old neighbor) comes along.

My dentist looks nervous.
She smiles but it's inert.

(Later, she admits she's never worked on anyone with ALS).

Once again, I panic and submit.
It goes fast.

Hands in mouth. The stick with the little mirror prodding my tongue to the side. A wedge forced into my bite to keep my jaw open. The oxygen mask. The lame piece of gauze placed on the back of my throat. Suction. I gag on the gauze, I reach in and take it out. They (one of them) puts it back in. The assistant insisting "open, open, OPEN " resolute, confident, dominating.

The dentist drills.

I picture Mary Baker Eddy beside her.

When it's done, I go back to the waiting room and sit with Jackie. I try to release forty-five minutes of fear.
Half of my head is stiff from the novacain. I have an irrational fear that I will choke on my own saliva.
So I decide to wait in the the little reception area until it dissipates.

Jackie (sleepy and loose) is reading "The Purpose of Christmas".
She offers it to me (and in my floppy state) I accept without resistance.

The book is about the G-d's love for us, and why Christ died for us.
Because I'm thinking hard about everything these days, I give it some thought and realize I've never really considered it.
Why does G-d love us unconditionally?

I put down the book and ask Jackie what she thinks.

Jackie is gently tearing out a page from US or PEOPLE and says, "the thing that kills me, that really bugs me" (and here she puts her pointer finger in the air to let me know she is quite serious) Why did Jesus have to suffer so MUCH on the cross. I mean, I know he had to die, but did he have to go through all that pain? This!? I don't understand. I'm going to have ask my priest about it ... that's what I'm going to do... I gotta remember to do that".

My face is still stiff, so to pass the time, I google the ten commandments on my i-phone and test Jackie.

The thing I like about Jackie is when I test her on the commandments she doesn't hesitate or question what I'm up to.
She jumps right in, like it's perfectly reasonable to test her recall of the ten commandments as she's thumbing through GOOD HOUSEKEEPING.

"The first one is, I can think of is ... though shall not kill... and then there's .... don't covet your neighbors wife?"

Jackie's gets all of the commandments except one, the second one.

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.

"It seems weird that G-d admits to being jealous" I tell Jackie. "That doesn't seem right."

"Well, I don' think it's literal. You have to think around it, Charlie. Maybe he's being a little tongue-in-cheek."

We're joined by a handsome young man with silver hair. He's wearing a dingy white t-shirt (like James Dean).
He's coyly grinning, open and flirty.

My dark side assumes he's coming onto us. (This is sad).

"How old do you think I am?" he grins. He show us his teeth but his eyes look to the floor.

The guy looks a lot like Anderson Cooper. (Later Jackie asks him if anyone has ever told him he looks like Montgomery Clift). He is clearly cute and his cuteness changes the energy in the room. Feeling threatened by his dominating handsomeness, I make an exit for the bathroom but Jackie jumps right in (like a flirty yenta), like she and Anderson Cooper had been talking for hours. "Well, you could be twenty or you could be thirty. Why? What's the problem? Are you having girl troubles?"

____________________________

I buy lunch for Jackie at Nanoosh (organic Mediterranean) http://www.nanoosh.com on 68th and Broadway.

Jackie tells me she likes this part of town.

"It's upscale, not as fancy as Park, but nicer than Times Square."


We sit at a communal table and drink organic coffee and lunch on organic chicken salad.
Waiting for the bill, we fill out a customer satisfaction survey. If we complete the survey, we could win a free lunch.

I read Jackie the (15 or 20) questions. We have to answer each question by circling, Excellent, Very Good, Good, Adequate, or Poor. We take our time with each question like we're the judges on some reality show. Sometimes we debate our joint answer and end up having to scratch out "Good" and replace it with "Very Good".

When it comes to the survey question about the fairness of prices Jackie makes me circle "poor."

"Charlie, the coffee was $2.50!! That's bananas. And don't get me started about Starbucks. Starbucks is bananas too.
Circle "poor". I mean it".

___________________________

We go to the GAP next door.
I hold onto Jackie's shoulder as we navigate Broadway.
I tell Jackie that people are staring at us, me with my cane, my feeble walk - Jackie, short, with her bright blond hair.
"You're paranoid, it's all in your head."

In the Gap, I look for a stylish coat.
Jackie helps me try on a few from the sale rack.
I've lost mass from my upper body so the coats hang oddly.

______________________________

We're standing in front of the Lincoln Plaza Theatre. It's next door to the GAP.
We consider seeing Disney's A Christmas Carol 3D IMAX.
I'm pretty certain I'll hate it, but we're here and it IS the Christmas season so we take a chance.

The movie is great. It's amazing!
The animation is gorgeous. The 3D effect is like live theatre.
Ebenezer Scroodge's transformation puts a big fat lump in my throat.

Ten minutes into it I turn to Jackie and say,

"This... is fantastic."

and Jackie says,

"Charlie this is unbelievable. I can't believe this! This is the closest thing to actually flying. I fly, all the time, (in my dreams).
But THIS? This is much better."