FlAT TIRES

Today I got two flat tires.
When it rains or snows, the glass on the street floats to the top.
My day was about getting two flat tires.

And, I fell over again.
I fall over every day and I have to say that If I wasn't in such good shape to
begin with,
I would be a mess.

I biked (and then walked my bike) to a Voice Over auditon in the Flat Iron District.
I mumbled at the Voice Over, I was a shoe-in. They asked for me.
My mouth and voice are crap.

Tonight, I went to a rehearsal for a play reading.
When I go to a rehearsal, it's like Tiffanys for Holly Golightly, I feel safe for a little while.
That must be why I do these readings.

The rehearsal was at Shapiro Hall at Columbia University on 116th Street.
The play is written by an 18 year old girl.

In the play, I play a f*cked up father with a meek wife, a demanding mistress, and a suicidal son.

The play requires me to puff myself out to be what I am not...
a used car sales man with lost dreams of becoming a professional football player.

I'm a 40ish man, they are happy to get any 40ish men for plays because most 40ish men
aren't around to do play readings. So even if I'm not quite right, I'm available. Even with my crap voice
they are happy to have me.

In one scene, I get to be drunk and it is a relief.

The director is a nice young woman (named Mark!) who is (on the ball) and a Northwestern grad.
We chat about NU.
She tells me that a teacher of mine did not retire but was forced out because of sexual misconduct.
Things just stay the same (really).

When we rehearse the reading, it is staged (which means I have to walk around).
Tonight, I weaved like I'd had a few highballs before rehearsal.
I imagine my fellow cast members on the subway ride home gossiping about me.
(I would).

After rehearsal, I stopped into a grocery store to pick up a few things because that is the way New York is.
It's hard to get things to your apartment so you have to be on the look-out for hunting and gathering opportunities.

In the cracker and cookie aisle, I ran into a woman I met five years ago doing a play for a feminist theatre company.
It was odd to run into her there because she lives down town.
She was visiting her son who is a freshman at Columbia.
Her younger son has a role in Steve Martin's latest movie.
I know both of her sons. When they were 13 and 6.
Her husband is in the kitchen business and is now suffering with the economy.

She asked me what I was up to and I hemmed and hawed and changed the conversation to the dangers of dairy and gluten.
It turns out she raised all three of her kids with no wheat or milk!

I bet diet is actually huge. I bet cutting out dairy and gluten and sugar and eating organic really would make a difference.

I took the train and then the #42 bus home.
I'll be a bus rider (I've decided).